“OK SO I HAVE A QUESTION. I AM NOT ASKING IT MEANLY BY ANY MEANS. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I FOLLOW YOU AND LIKE YOUR POSTS FOR A REASON! YOU WORK OUT CONSTANTLY! ALWAYS RUNNING. HOW ARE YOU NOT VERY SKINNY AND TONED? AGAIN, IM NOT ASKING THAT IN A BAD WAY. I LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE. BUT YOU ARE CONSTANTLY WORKING YOUR ASS OFF. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THE RESULTS AREN’T HUGE. DO YOU EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT? I LOVE FOOD MYSELF AND CANT SEEM TO CUT CARBS OUT OF MY DIET. I HOPE YOU DON’T TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS QUESTION. I JUST HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED THIS.BECAUSE WITH AS MUCH RUNNING AS YOU DO. I FEEL LIKE YOUR METABOLISM WOULD BE QUICK.”

This is a message, word for word, I received this week. But it’s not isolated. I get emails and messages like this just about every week. And they all ask the same thing —

“If you run and workout as much as you say you do...why aren’t you skinnier.” 

Or — “If you run marathons...why aren’t you skinnier?”

Or— “If you run...why aren’t you skinnier?” 

I don’t care who you are, if your body type isn’t skinny, slim or slender, we all field this ignorant question from everyone from our friends and family to co-workers and complete strangers.

Which is frustrating because nine times out of ten, it isn’t asked intended to hurt or criticize, but out of genuine curiosity. 

For decades, we’ve all been served the same poisoned punch. Health has been sold with one look — skinny. The less fat on your body, the healthier you are. That’s the punch we’ve all been force fed our entire lives.

And it’s bullshit. It’s poison. It’s making people sick and it’s warped our perception of what a healthy body actually looks like.

HEALTH IS NOT A LOOK. 

IT’S NOT. 

A healthy body comes in all different shapes and sizes. Skinny isn’t the healthy body, it’s one body type.

Sometimes, if a goal asks for it, I run 50 miles a week and strength train twice a week. And another two days a week, I sit on a bike with a load on its wheel that, according to my Garmin, is in the top 1% of people who ride. (When I say I’m strong, I have data to back it up.)

Other times, I move when I want to, because I want. That means maybe 30-60 minute runs 3-4 days a week with some strength training and cross training sprinkled in if it feels right.

I don’t believe in working yourself into the ground chasing goals year round. Outcome goals like marathon training and the likes are incredible, but they’re one small piece of the puzzle. It’s all about balance.

“BUT SURELY YOUR DIET MUST BE SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T WORKOUT LIKE THAT AND LOOK THE WAY YOU LOOK.” 

NOPE.

WRONG.

THAT’S THE POISON PUNCH TALKING.

I eat delicious, fulfilling, satisfying foods. I spent years learning to finally listen to my body and eat a balanced diet. If I’m training for a huge outcome goal, I eat more. I get more protein. More carbs. More food that will help me recover and adapt from all the work I’m doing. Instead of focusing on proper portion sizes, I finally learned to slow down and eat when I’m hungry until I’m full

It’s all about balance. Did I have half of a pint of ice cream after my 20 mile long run this weekend? Yeah. I did. Not because I earned it, because that’s what balance looks like. I don’t have desert every day, I have it within reason when I want it. Sometimes that’s multiple times a week. Sometimes it’s not. There aren’t patterns. You can’t outrun an unbalanced diet. Notice that I said unbalanced. Not “unhealthy”. An unbalanced diet is one that restricts and limits.

That’s why I eat delicious, nourishing, satisfying foods that help me feel good. Not because my life’s mission is to lose weight.

Not anymore. I have to work really hard to keep myself from restricting or hyper focusing on overexercising to try to hit an unrealistic number on a scale or fit a certain pant size. I’m human. The goal isn’t body positivity. It’s body image resilience. But I refuse to define my worth or health by the number on a scale or my dress size. It just takes work. (Your worth isn’t tied to your waist size. Stop drinking the punch.)

The times in my life when I was at my unhealthiest were when I were at my skinniest. The only times I ever hit 155 pounds (the goal weight I aspired towards for my entire teen and young adult life) were when I worked out obsessively. I’d go to the gym for two hours, twice a day. I cut carbs and ate 1000-1200 calories a day. (Which is SO UNHEALTHY) I used to make myself throw up if I ate anything I worried would make me gain weight. I dissected every single “problem area” and was convinced that other people judged me the way I did myself. I was an anxious, insecure, controlling, depressed, starved and desperately unhappy shell of a woman.

Today, I don’t know what I weigh. I don’t weigh myself. My size fluctuates based on what I’m doing. When I’m marathon training, I get a little leaner. The danger lies in thinking I need to run marathons every year to stay that size. THAT isn’t healthy or sustainable.

FOR YEARS, THE FOOD INDUSTRY SOLD US THIS IDEA THAT WEIGHT LOSS IS AS SIMPLE AS CALORIES IN VERSUS CALORIES OUT AND IF YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT, IT'S BECAUSE YOU AREN’T WORKING OUT ENOUGH. AND HOT TAKE—THAT’S BULLSHIT POISON PUNCH.

Every single body is different. There is no one shape, weight, or size that is healthiest or strongest. There is no before or after version of yourself that is better or worse. They’re all just you.

WE HAVE TO START TO UNPACK THE WAY WE PERCEIVE HEALTH BECAUSE THE HEALTH, FITNESS, AND WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRIES ARE STILL SERVING POISON PUNCH. WE NEED TO START TO TALK ABOUT OUR TRADITIONAL FEMININE BEAUTY IDEALS (THIN, NICE, QUIET, SPEND YOUR MONEY ON APPEARANCE AND TAKE UP AS LITTLE ROOM IN THE WORLD AS POSSIBLE) BECAUSE THEY’RE MAKING US SICK AND HOLDING US BACK.

AND LIZZO CAN’T DO ALL THE WORK FOR US.

Health is not a look. It’s a lifestyle.

You are not defined by how large or small you are. You are not a before and after version of yourself. But thin and skinny are just one body type of many.

The next time someone asks you why you aren’t skinnier if you run, ask questions. It’s not your job to change their perception. But you can ask questions and help them see your side of the story. Try not to get angry or feel judged. I know it’s hard not to feel hurt. We live in a world that ties morality to weight. So PREPARE YOURSELF because it’s going to happen. Let them know that health comes in all different shapes and sizes.

Running isn’t about being skinny. Skinny is just one of many beautiful body types. Running is about feeling strong, challenging yourself, and connecting with a supportive and inclusive community.

Encourage whoever asked you why you aren’t skinnier to stop drinking the poison punch and to wake the fuck up. Because if they look at you and judge you for your weight, imagine what they say to themselves.

This isn’t about strong not skinny. It’s strong in every size.

Because running can’t give you a different body type. It will just make you strong.